Have you ever wondered if you have an addiction to pornography, or has someone told you that you have an addiction to pornography?
Hi, my name is Jacob, and I’m a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. I wanted to take some time to hopefully help some of you who are asking yourself the question “Do I have a problem with porn?”.
Before I get into the topic though, I want to state my intent of not inducing feelings of shame for those who may be reading. Shame can often be a very dysregulating emotion, one that can take you out of being able to be curious about your own experience. And we have to be able to be curious about our own experiences if we want to understand ourselves, much less make any attempts at changing behavior.
So in the spirit of self-awareness, let’s jump in. Often one of my early objectives with new clients is to understand what do their pornography habits look like. I want to help them create clarity around what is actually happening.
Compulsivity
Often I am not looking for a specific frequency, but rather a pattern that has escalated, or continues to escalate in spite of efforts to control their pornography use. Have you set rules or limits for yourself, and then found yourself blowing right past those boundaries? Those who struggle with pornography addiction often find themselves engaging with sexually explicit content, even if they told themselves that they were stopping. Sometimes it even feels like “it just happened” without warning that they didn’t have time to stop themselves.
Something else to consider in the realm of compulsivity is if you have found yourself watching porn for longer than you actually intended, or if you’ve lost track of time in an attempt to find “the right video/image”.
Negative Consequences
Another potential sign of pornography addiction is continuation in spite of negative consequences. If negative consequences sounds vague, you’re right. So let’s clarify a bit. Negative consequences can mean a negative impact on important relationships, negative effects on your mental or physical health, or negative impacts on your career or hobbies.
Another important question to ask yourself is if your viewing habits have increased in intensity or novelty over time? “Regular” porn doesn’t have the same arousing effect, and you find yourself looking for something that does, typically through consuming more intense or novel images. If you’re familiar with chemical addictions like alcohol or drugs, then this might sound like an increase in tolerance to you. Another way of putting it is as if you’ve become desensitized to the type of content that you previously consumed, and have to find something else to get to the same “high” or feeling of arousal.
Withdrawal
Do you find yourself becoming irritable, anxious, upset, or emotionally shut-down if you are unable to watch porn? Not just a momentary flash of disappointment, but a feeling of prolonged anxiousness or negative energy. Withdrawal is not just experienced with chemical addictions, but also in behavioral addictions like sex and pornography.
Next Steps
If you found yourself saying “this describes me” while reading this post, then it might be helpful to find a qualified professional to help you understand more of what’s going on. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists are mental health professionals who have received specialized training in sex addiction in addition to their qualifying degrees. Help is available from professionals who understand what you are experiencing. You are not alone.
You can reach out to me here.
Or, you can use the IITAP directory to find a CSAT therapist in your area.