Faith and spirituality are meant to be sources of comfort, community, and meaning. For many, they offer hope in times of struggle and help anchor a sense of identity. But what happens when those same spaces, intended to nurture become places of harm?
Spiritual abuse occurs when a leader, institution, or belief system uses spiritual authority to manipulate, control, or harm (Oakley & Kinmond, 2013). This can include shaming, coercion, emotional exploitation, or creating fear around questioning or leaving a faith community. Religious trauma is the deep emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical injury that results from these harmful experiences (Ward, 2011).
What makes spiritual abuse and religious trauma such distinct from other forms of trauma is the layer of meaning-making they carry. When harm happens in a faith context, it doesn’t just affect a person’s safety, it shakes their worldview, self-concept, and sense of purpose (Cashwell et al., 2020). Questions like “Am I lovable?” “Am I safe?” “What is true?” becomes tangled with spiritual narratives. This is why healing from religious trauma often requires more than symptom management, it requires restoring trust, connection, and a renewed sense of meaning.
This is where Emotionally Focused Therapy can be a powerful path forward. EFT, grounded in attachment theory, helps clients identify and shift the emotional patterns that keep them stuck in cycles of fear, shame, or disconnection (Johnson, 2019). Rather than debating doctrine or belief systems, EFT focuses on helping clients connect with their core emotions in a safe and compassionate way. For survivors of spiritual abuse, this creates space name and validates the pain they’ve experienced, rebuild trust in themselves and others, create new, healthier ways of relating—both to people and to their own spirituality.
If you have experienced harm in a religious or spiritual context, know that your story matters. Healing is possible—not by erasing your past, but by making space for new meaning, safety, and connection. You are not “losing faith” by seeking help. You are reclaiming your right to belong—to yourself, to safe relationships, and, if you choose, to a faith that nurtures rather than wounds.
References
Cashwell, C. S., Glosoff, H. L., & Hammond, C. D. (2020). Meaning in life, religion, and spirituality: Implications for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 98(4), 359–368. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcad.12342
Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.
Oakley, L., & Kinmond, K. (2013). Breaking the silence on spiritual abuse. Palgrave Macmillan.
Ward, T. (2011). Religious trauma syndrome: It’s time to recognize it. The Humanist, 71(3), 24–27.